lesson learned.

ive been blessed this last week. even though its been tough.

the lord has reminded me that he is still there and that he wants what is best for me.

he reminded me that i need to rely on him more

that i need to do things on my own sometimes to grow

and that his timing is perfect

i was offered a good opportunity this week that i wasn't sure that i wanted. i wanted a change, but i wasnt sure if this was the best way to make that change. i spent time praying about it and talking to close friends and family on whether or not i should take it. i had no impressions either way on what to do. it was stressful and created a lot of anxiety for me.

this was one of those situations where both answers were good. and the lord didnt have an answer for me. it was a situation where i just had to have faith and take a step forward. and wait for him to approve my decision or let me know it wasnt what was best for me. so thats what i did.

i took a step.

and moved forward with what i needed to do. i was proud of myself for doing so. all on my own.

until a few days later i got a phone call telling me that they had changed their mind and that i was no longer given this opportunity. it was a total and complete shock. i had spent all this time working on coming to a decision and here i was pacing in the parking lot being told i couldnt have it anymore.

it was a total and complete surprise. but i take comfort in knowing that for some reason thats not what my heavenly father wanted me to do. he was proud of me for making a decision but he has something else planned for me.

"When we explain a problem and a proposed solution, sometimes He answers yes, sometimes no. Often He withholds an answer, not for lack of concern, but because He loves us—perfectly. He wants us to apply truths He has given us. For us to grow, we need to trust our ability to make correct decisions. We need to do what we feel is right. In time, He will answer. He will not fail us." --Richard G. Scott

"If, in trust, we begin something which is not right, He will let us know before we have gone too far." -- Richard G. Scott

so here i am. at square one again. but only after learning a very important lesson and being stretched a little further.

maybe. or maybe not. but maybe.

im a princess, and i deserve to be treated like one.

a friend told me that on the phone today jokingly about annoying girls.

but lets be honest.....its how i feel.

do i need to wear a tiara all the time to remind people that? because i will....

i want to feel appreciated. in all aspects of my life.

at my workplace,

in my romantic relationships,

with my family, and friends

its a good feeling. and makes me want to be better.

i have a lot of good traits. im good at what i do. and every now and again i enjoy having someone genuinely recognize that and let me know that they appreciate it.

its nice to be independent and to do things on my own. but sometimes i want to just sit back and be taken care of....because they love me. thats all.

sometimes...

i have so many things going on in my head i cant quite sort all of it out.

life is funny. and timing is an interesting thing.

i am very blessed and sometimes its easy to forget that.

its easy to just fall into my typical funk without recognizing that there are good things out there.

today i was reminded how it feels to want to make goals and be creative.

i will start working out

and i will start using my camera more.

things could be a lot worse, so i should start making the best....

yesterdays strength has become todays weakness.

rainy day

today was aMAZing! the clouds rolled in and dropped a few little rain drops....

last night i slept with the window cracked and had the cool 40 degree weather blowing in on me all night. it was divine! so i slept in til ten.

....and laid in bed til twelve under the covers enjoying the cool breeze and cloudy sky through my blinds.

i contemplated....

then watched a little modern family and goofed around on the computer.

got half ready (meaning i did my make-up and put my basketball shorts back on) and then deeeeeeep cleaned. oh boy did it feel WONderful! i even dusted.....and organized all of my shoes.

let me tell you. i have too many of just about everything. but most specifically shoes and jewelry.

i organized my earring rack and it now looks like this....

there are multiple pairs of earrings where only one should reside.

have any suggestions on organization?

i have a hook right next to this full of my necklaces (they still get tangled). and that bowl right there full of bracelets and rings. i need something cute, small, and convenient. but am totally at a loss for ideas....

from there i got all dolled up and treated myself to a trip to bath and body works. this rainy weather has gotten me all excited. i now wash my hands with sweet cinnamon pumpkin. YUM! perfect clean treat to a perfect clean day.

i also made a purchase on this little gem. 6 whole dollars. and will match perfectly with my light brown boots this fall. SO excited....

i drove to meet my bestest friend des at kneaders (it was too cold and rainy to do a photo shoot) and actually thought in the car 'i'm kind of excited for winter. the warm coats, and hot apple cider....maybe even snow' ....ridiculous, huh? just last week i was having an anxiety attack over the whole thing. this goes to show how good of a mood i was in today.

we had awesome conversation, good laughs, and delicious cream of broccoli soup. great way to end a totally amazing day.

a few things.

i went for a drive on sunday.

i was a little grumpy that day. until driving up the dirt road i found a beautiful spot that made me yell to stop the car. and i finally got the perfect exposure on the shot i wanted...... and then i skipped up the hill back to my car. needless to say i was happy again.

today as i was putting a wedding dress back on a mannequin i thought to myself.....

wedding dresses just arent as special as they used to be. i've been jaded and its kind of a bummer. just the way i carry them isn't as special. i scroll through bridal blogs and name every dress that i recognize. its sad....and i just hope that when it comes to finding my own (which i have NO idea what it will look like..even though i see lots of options) it will still feel like a special dress.

speaking of special dresses...went to u of u homecoming this weekend. got all dolled up and out to a fancy restaurant for dinner. i felt special and real pretty. love to have a reason to dress up.

ive decided this fall i want to wear collared button up shirts. i've always loved the look of them but have never actually worn them. this year it will be done! worn with sweaters over the top and with rolled up sleeves....

oh that, and rain boots with long socks worn underneath with a skirt. i will be investing in a cute pair from target when i get paid this week.

pinterest inspires me.

recently ive been reminded how much i love to give little gifts/cards just because i love them. it makes me feel good. it makes them feel good. and its exciting. need to do that more often.

newest favorite show. new girl. freaking hilarious! love zooey deschanel.

going to take pictures with my favorite desiree tomorrow in the fall weather. love her....