this morning i cried

in my sleep.

and couldnt stop once i woke up.

its a weird thing to tell your heart that its so upset about something that is not real.

then i cried again

in fear of not being able to get married and have a family someday.

this has never happened before.

i think my emotions are playing tricks on me.

i feel

so blessed.

so happy.

and so grateful.

its hard not knowing what the future holds.

but im learning its ok not to know.

the lord will prepare a way

and wants us to be happy.

things will work out.

it just requires a little patience

and faith.

so here i am...

excited to do my part to show him i'm willing.

eventually the rest will fall into place.

grateful for amazing friends that help me grow

and are constantly helping me remember that this is right.

the church is good.