i want to be a princess

i didnt get up super early to watch the wedding. but i wish i would have. i have to admit i was a little excited for all of this. it didnt hit til i woke up and came down and turned the tv on.
its just like a fairy tale! she got to marry a prince.

looooove it!

absolutely loved her dress!

i want to be a princess.

with a prince
a gorgeous gown
a ride around town in a horse drawn carriage
and then an exit in an old aston martin.
.....please?

i retreat a little

life is weird.

Heavenly Father really meant it when he said it was a test. its hard.

i have so many things bouncing around in my head i cant think straight.

none of this makes sense but ive got to get it all out.

agency
the Lords timetable
prayer
revelation
relationships
faith
marriage
moving forward
making sure not to settle
love
forgiveness
the atonement
change
becoming a new person
repentance
desire to do good
regrets
potential
the atonement
happiness
desires
family
influences
making decisions not based on influences
forgiveness
agency
revelation
agency

a list. all ive got is a list (thanks to dad, he taught me well)

and an uncontrollably shaky body....

i take it back a little....just hold off for a little bit world...til i get my footing. then bring it on.

dont cry and drive.

today was my first day off (that wasnt the sabbath) in two weeks. in fact i even forgot it was my day off until i was reminded at work that i didnt have to come in the next day.

workaholic? maybe.

feels good to get things done.

finally organized my room a little.
and unpacked my car (which included vacuuming laundry detergent that spilled ALL over the backseat)

went to dinner with the wonderful desiree, and visited every craft store in orem.

today i came to a couple realizations.

1. im alone. 2. im single. and 3. i have no idea what will happen in the next six months. its a weird feeling. im pretty much on my own.

im not sure what exactly im taking from those realizations but im sure ill get back to you.

as long as i keep doing what im supposed to be doing, those things wont be so daunting.

ps a good run makes things better.

sometimes i just have to get out and run away from things as soon as possible to feel better. despite the clubhouse being closed tonight i went out for a jog anyway. i just ran around the block in the cold air like 5 times. im still amazed at how making my heart hurt with exercise makes my heart feel better.

it all was topped off by the most amazing shooting star. that i managed to see at the perfect moment, in the perfect spot. those things remind me that heavenly father is watching over me and wants to remind me of that. and remind me that he loves me.

bring it on world.

Happy Easter!

Hear a wonderful Easter message here.

I am so grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ. For his life, example, sacrifice, and atonement.

He knows me and loves me.

green

i have so much i want to talk about. but its late, and i should have been in bed about half an hour ago. but i have to take advantage of the internet working tonight on my own computer (without having to bug the neighbor to reset the router).

i took a few pictures this weekend. its been a while since ive gone out and just played around. i feel like im slowly learning and getting better at taking pictures little by little. i'm starting to learn more about my camera too. its funny how i can spend so much time looking through the lens and never really notice all the green lights at the bottom indicating the exposure on each picture. psh! goes to show how much i know. anyway just be prepared for a flood of pictures here soon.

today kneaders went from the bottom of my list of places to eat to the top ten. i had a DELICIOUS salad today for lunch. spinach leaves, feta cheese, nuts, raspberries, and a raspberry vinaigrette. oh man...so good! and then i had another one of their salads for dinner. crazy right? lucy eating TWO salads in one day!?

ok time for some sleep....i have a veeeerrry long day ahead of me. i get to go into work early tomorrow to meet with my aunt and a representative from pronovias (our top designer in the store) to do the buying for the year. i'm excited to say the least! yay!

i heart disney

this last weekend was spend in disneyland.

highlights included:

hanging out with mom

toy story mania

learning how the pro does disneyland in a day

eating a monte cristo at cafe orleans

eating a homemade chocolate chip cookie ice cream sandwich

getting in to the park for free

taking pictures with mom

getting an awesome mickie damask scarf

world of color

laughing with mom

being able to respond with conversation to the smartest disneyland man i know

getting to see my sister sydney perform with her choir

it was an awesome weekend to say the least. and getting back to utah was not so awesome.

im not a fan of change. i even get bothered by little things....like the fact that returning to the airport was totally different than it has been for the last year and a half.

my heart likes constant companionship. and when i dont have that, it requires some major adjusting. i left work early today because i was anxious and wasnt adjusting as well as i should been. so i did a little exercising....it helped. somewhat. haha.

yesterday i felt a little better when i got an aweosme surprise! im my dread of being at work my grandparents from texas randomly walked in the door! they were in town and took me out to lunch (to taco time, grandpas favorite). i love my family. it feels good to be loved.

grovemade case

looksie.....i came home to find a package in the mail that ive been anxiously waiting for. and this is what was inside....

the most amazing handmade bamboo cell phone case..... check it...it even tells you inside "handmade in portland, oregon" pretty sweet eh?

isn't it beautiful? it smells amazing too.

it comes with a bamboo frame from the left over wood used for the case. how resourceful.... it must really be from oregon.

i absolutely LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it. i keep looking over at it. and picking it up just to feel it. just pray that i dont drop it and ruin it.

best conference ever

this weekend was general conference. it was so great. i know its because i really really needed it. i went from crying out of sorrow to crying for happiness to learn such amazing things. i learned a lot. ...a lot. i have a lot of things to work on to be the person i want to be. but now i have a better idea of who that person is. at least i was reminded of it again. i still hurt. a lot. and i have no idea what the future holds. at least for now i can distract myself with some things to work on and hopefully the things i want will start to fall into place. i have a lot of desires right now... i know i have to be patient with them...but hurry up already! im ready for bed. hopefully ill be back soon....and i can talk about the move! once i figure out how to get the stupid internet to work on my computer.