i dont say that just because i really really want one. i actually think i need one.
my kitty peewee from home
i need someone to come home to who loves me no matter what! and who will always love me. and will snuggle with me when i go to bed.....
the next place i live....i WILL have a kitten.....
anyway...i have this bad habit of...daydreaming up these situations that i want to happen. ive done it ever since i can remember. birthdays and valentines day tend to be my worst. i would think....maybe the guy i like will bring me a dozen roses, or maybe i'll come home to a cutely decorated room, or get swept off my feet and taken to a special romantic dinner.
i still do it.
when im sick or upset i hope that someone will come over randomly because they know i need to be taken care of.
but when i do this....i set myself up for disappointment.
i did it today. i laid in bed sick and upset with the door cracked hoping i wouldnt be laying there alone for very much longer. i could have sworn i heard him drive by twice today.... but i was probably just making myself anxious for my possible daydream to come true.
i cant do this anymore. how do i stop it? i refuse to do it on valentines day this year. it'll just another day that i'll spend working and then come home and enjoy a movie on my own. i may splurge by buying myself some flowers but i really dont want to disappoint myself again.
seriously....i have an issue. i'm sitting here thinking...maybe someone will surprise me with a kitten....
nope....they wont....haha.
oh lucy.....get yourself together here!
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