inexplicable

inexplicable: incapable of being explained, or accounted for. see lucy's heart.

i feel a lot of things should be left for my own journal today.

but i have all of these feelings and thoughts that that are bottled up inside me and may burst any day. i'm really good at having anxiety.

yesterday i was talking to the sweetest girl i work with. her name is lyidia and she is from ukraine. she really warmed up to me with her big smile when i offered her help when she was really busy. she is the best seamstress around. anyway we were talking about russian and how much i love her accent. (you should have heard her say she got her shirt at ross...it was the cutest thing) i told her i knew a few russian words and told her 'i love you'. she just giggled at me. when i asked her to teach me a new word she said, 'pakah'. ....it means goodbye. i smiled and said it to her as she left...

but the instant she told me it made me sad.

....ironic, isnt it?